Monday, December 3, 2012
37 Weeks: Thanksgiving
37w0d: This Thanksgiving, I reached full term status at 37 weeks! I have so much to be thankful for. I have a happy and loving marriage to a man that makes me laugh and strive to be more like him (he is so kind and forgiving!). I have my sweet Eva, who shows me every day what my purpose in life is. I have a home I love in a community I feel safe to raise a family in. I have a job that allows me flexibility and will afford me time with my girls. But, this year, I am most thankful for third chances. I cannot wait to hold this baby in my arms and wish her a happy birthday!
36 Weeks
36w0d: I had my biophysical profile ultrasound along with a Level 2. Baby girl is measuring 5lbs 12oz currently and is perfectly healthy! She is doing all her practice breathing and kicking me like a champ in the ribs!
36w1d: I was supposed to get my last hydroxyprogesterone shot today (YAY!), but the nurses were all pulled into an emergency meeting or situation or something so I either had to forgo the last shot or go to maternity triage to get it. Well, we all know how I feel about triage, so I skipped the last shot.
36w2d: I went with close friends to see the last Twilight movie today. It was very ominous for me because we had planned to go see the last Harry Potter movie the day that Eva was born preterm. I was very conscious all day of the intensity and consistency of my braxton hicks contractions.
36w4d: I had another biophysical today because of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Still breathing and kicking and got some great 4D photos of her! Can't wait to meet her and kiss those cheeks! I am convinced she will have a TON of hair because I continue to have fireball acid reflux.
36w6d: My mom came up to spend Thanksgiving with us today. Eva is always so excited to have her Grandma come to visit and I am so happy to have Thanksgiving come to me with someone else willing to cook the turkey!
36w1d: I was supposed to get my last hydroxyprogesterone shot today (YAY!), but the nurses were all pulled into an emergency meeting or situation or something so I either had to forgo the last shot or go to maternity triage to get it. Well, we all know how I feel about triage, so I skipped the last shot.
36w2d: I went with close friends to see the last Twilight movie today. It was very ominous for me because we had planned to go see the last Harry Potter movie the day that Eva was born preterm. I was very conscious all day of the intensity and consistency of my braxton hicks contractions.
36w4d: I had another biophysical today because of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Still breathing and kicking and got some great 4D photos of her! Can't wait to meet her and kiss those cheeks! I am convinced she will have a TON of hair because I continue to have fireball acid reflux.
36w6d: My mom came up to spend Thanksgiving with us today. Eva is always so excited to have her Grandma come to visit and I am so happy to have Thanksgiving come to me with someone else willing to cook the turkey!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
35 Weeks
35w0d: I had my weekly biophysical profile ultrasound today and everything went well. I got to see great shots of her in 4D, which is always a treat! Was given my second to last progesterone shot as well. I was so exhausted after poor sleep this week and the 50mgs of benedryl that it was super lucky that Matt drove Eva and I home because I completely passed out in the car!
35w1d: Eva was born on 35w1d, so this is a milestone day! Eva went to a friend's house for dinner so Matt and I could go on a date--our last date for awhile I am sure! I wasn't the sexiest date though as I totally peed myself at one point! Luckily it was dark in the restaurant so you couldn't obviously see the wet spot on my pants! I cheated/treated myself to dessert after a high protein/fiber meal and we got chocolate cake. It was amazing AND my numbers still came in under!
35w2d: I am officially more pregnant than I have ever been! :-)
35w3d: I went to a friend's baby sprinkle today. She is due just a week after I am! There were tons of pregnant women at this shower, but I am the one on deck to have the baby first! That's an exciting place to be!
35w4d: It was unseasonably warm and gorgeous today! Eva actually said she didn't want to go to dance class because she wanted to play outside instead. Once we got to dance, however, she was super happy to be there as always.
35w5d: We got some baby gear items assembled today, which made me feel good to be able to cross at least something off of our to-do list! I went to class tonight and had to tell my students that if I go into labor at this point, they will not see me again this semester! I guess I really need to catch up on grading!
35w6d: I had my regular OB appointment today. Baby's heartrate and my belly measurements were all great. I am still about 1cm dilated, maybe a little more, but not enough to say 2cm.
35w1d: Eva was born on 35w1d, so this is a milestone day! Eva went to a friend's house for dinner so Matt and I could go on a date--our last date for awhile I am sure! I wasn't the sexiest date though as I totally peed myself at one point! Luckily it was dark in the restaurant so you couldn't obviously see the wet spot on my pants! I cheated/treated myself to dessert after a high protein/fiber meal and we got chocolate cake. It was amazing AND my numbers still came in under!
35w2d: I am officially more pregnant than I have ever been! :-)
35w3d: I went to a friend's baby sprinkle today. She is due just a week after I am! There were tons of pregnant women at this shower, but I am the one on deck to have the baby first! That's an exciting place to be!
35w4d: It was unseasonably warm and gorgeous today! Eva actually said she didn't want to go to dance class because she wanted to play outside instead. Once we got to dance, however, she was super happy to be there as always.
35w5d: We got some baby gear items assembled today, which made me feel good to be able to cross at least something off of our to-do list! I went to class tonight and had to tell my students that if I go into labor at this point, they will not see me again this semester! I guess I really need to catch up on grading!
35w6d: I had my regular OB appointment today. Baby's heartrate and my belly measurements were all great. I am still about 1cm dilated, maybe a little more, but not enough to say 2cm.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
34 Weeks
34w0d: Happy November and happy mommy for reaching her goal of 34 weeks!! I had my BPP and shot today. Grandma got to see the baby during the ultrasound, which was a special treat for her and then she drove me home to take my post-shot coma nap!
34w1d: Eva had her school Halloween parade and party today. She was very weirded out and uncomfortable about seeing her teacher and her friends all in costume. She eventually settled in, but it took her an hour to do so!
34w2d: Grammy came out to play with Eva while Matt and I did some Christmas shopping. We got everything but a few stocking gifts for Eva from Santa and a few things for some other people on our shopping list. While at Home Goods, I suddenly started to trickle and became concerned that my water had broken. We went home to let me rest. Later, Matt's brother and his fiance came over to watch the Irish and I ended up having to be so rude to go lie down because I was getting really strong and regular contractions that came with lots of nausea as well. They did eventually stop and there was no further trickles or gushes of fluid so I am still pregnant, but I definitely was thinking it was go time for awhile there!
34w3d: We crossed of a big "to do" off the before the baby comes list today by going to tag this year's Christmas tree. Eva was very excited to choose her sister's first Christmas tree! It was FREEZING!!
34w4d: It was "bring a friend" week at Eva's dance studio so she brought one of her friends and was so proud to introduce her to her teacher!
34w5d: Election Day! I took Eva with me to vote at the township building and the A-L line was 2.5 hours long! M-Z was in and out in 35 minutes, thankfully! Eva was very disappointed though because she was under the impression we were going to choose our new "presents" not "president"!
34w6d: I had a regular OB appointment this morning. She checked me to see if I am dilated at all due to all the contractions I have been having= 1 cm! I told her that the baby has been quiet the last few days, but that I am still feeling her of course. She sent me to get a BPP to be sure that baby was good and that there was no additional need to consider bed rest. The BPP went well, but they still put me on a mini bed rest where I can still go to work, but I am supposed to rest as much as possible while home, which is much easier said than done when you are an at-home-mom of a 3 year old!
34w1d: Eva had her school Halloween parade and party today. She was very weirded out and uncomfortable about seeing her teacher and her friends all in costume. She eventually settled in, but it took her an hour to do so!
34w2d: Grammy came out to play with Eva while Matt and I did some Christmas shopping. We got everything but a few stocking gifts for Eva from Santa and a few things for some other people on our shopping list. While at Home Goods, I suddenly started to trickle and became concerned that my water had broken. We went home to let me rest. Later, Matt's brother and his fiance came over to watch the Irish and I ended up having to be so rude to go lie down because I was getting really strong and regular contractions that came with lots of nausea as well. They did eventually stop and there was no further trickles or gushes of fluid so I am still pregnant, but I definitely was thinking it was go time for awhile there!
34w3d: We crossed of a big "to do" off the before the baby comes list today by going to tag this year's Christmas tree. Eva was very excited to choose her sister's first Christmas tree! It was FREEZING!!
34w4d: It was "bring a friend" week at Eva's dance studio so she brought one of her friends and was so proud to introduce her to her teacher!
34w5d: Election Day! I took Eva with me to vote at the township building and the A-L line was 2.5 hours long! M-Z was in and out in 35 minutes, thankfully! Eva was very disappointed though because she was under the impression we were going to choose our new "presents" not "president"!
34w6d: I had a regular OB appointment this morning. She checked me to see if I am dilated at all due to all the contractions I have been having= 1 cm! I told her that the baby has been quiet the last few days, but that I am still feeling her of course. She sent me to get a BPP to be sure that baby was good and that there was no additional need to consider bed rest. The BPP went well, but they still put me on a mini bed rest where I can still go to work, but I am supposed to rest as much as possible while home, which is much easier said than done when you are an at-home-mom of a 3 year old!
33 Weeks
33w0d: Watched a friend's baby this morning. Eva is a great helper, but I am definitely becoming less available to provide baby comfort considering I have a baby in the way of where you would typically cradle a baby! Also had a BPP ultrasound and got my progesterone shot today. BPP went well! Baby girl has been super cooperative with them and does all her movements and her breathing really quickly!
33w1d: Took Eva to her friend's house for a playdate and dinner. Eva is really starting to play with other kids her age cooperatively rather that just playing alongside them, which is so fun to see!
33w2d: Went to get myself and Eva fitted for my brother in law's wedding party this afternoon. Eva was so thrilled to try on the flower girl dresses and although she was shy coming out of the dressing room with each change, she couldn't get enough of herself in the big mirrors as she twirled!! Getting myself sized for a bridesmaid dress was interesting, considering it is hard to predict what size I will be in a month, let alone in June! Eva was devastated to leave without the dress so we went over to Sears for her to pick out a new dress to bring home. Her choice? A velvety Santa dress!
33w3d: Did some work on the nursery today by hanging up some decor and organizing some clothes. Still lots to do! We also prepared for Hurricane Sandy to hit our area by freezing lots of ice bags, doing laundry and running the dishwasher, filling up our cars with gas and taking hot showers!!
33w4d: Hurricane Sandy hit the east coast fiercely! We were very lucky that the worst of it missed us entirely. We never lost power and no trees went through our roof, which was really our main concern about the house. Bigger than that, I know that big storms can send women into labor so I was very nervous that I would be traveling out to the hospital in a Hurricane in preterm labor! Luckily, baby girl made it through safe and snug inside!
33w5d: Everything was closed in the area today for Sandy recovery. Matt was home and we got some things crossed off the baby list, but for the most part, we just caught up on rest and play time with Eva.
33w6d: Happy Halloween! Grandma came today to spend the next few days with us. Eva wore her cowgirl costume proudly all day and as soon as her friend arrived to go trick or treating in a princess dress, Eva wanted to change into her Sleeping Beauty costume! She had a great time trick or treating in the neighborhood as a princess wearing cowgirl boots! I stayed behind to give out candy with Grandma because I was contracting regularly.
33w1d: Took Eva to her friend's house for a playdate and dinner. Eva is really starting to play with other kids her age cooperatively rather that just playing alongside them, which is so fun to see!
33w2d: Went to get myself and Eva fitted for my brother in law's wedding party this afternoon. Eva was so thrilled to try on the flower girl dresses and although she was shy coming out of the dressing room with each change, she couldn't get enough of herself in the big mirrors as she twirled!! Getting myself sized for a bridesmaid dress was interesting, considering it is hard to predict what size I will be in a month, let alone in June! Eva was devastated to leave without the dress so we went over to Sears for her to pick out a new dress to bring home. Her choice? A velvety Santa dress!
33w3d: Did some work on the nursery today by hanging up some decor and organizing some clothes. Still lots to do! We also prepared for Hurricane Sandy to hit our area by freezing lots of ice bags, doing laundry and running the dishwasher, filling up our cars with gas and taking hot showers!!
33w4d: Hurricane Sandy hit the east coast fiercely! We were very lucky that the worst of it missed us entirely. We never lost power and no trees went through our roof, which was really our main concern about the house. Bigger than that, I know that big storms can send women into labor so I was very nervous that I would be traveling out to the hospital in a Hurricane in preterm labor! Luckily, baby girl made it through safe and snug inside!
33w5d: Everything was closed in the area today for Sandy recovery. Matt was home and we got some things crossed off the baby list, but for the most part, we just caught up on rest and play time with Eva.
33w6d: Happy Halloween! Grandma came today to spend the next few days with us. Eva wore her cowgirl costume proudly all day and as soon as her friend arrived to go trick or treating in a princess dress, Eva wanted to change into her Sleeping Beauty costume! She had a great time trick or treating in the neighborhood as a princess wearing cowgirl boots! I stayed behind to give out candy with Grandma because I was contracting regularly.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
32 Weeks
32w0d: Level 2 ultrasound and Biophysical Profile today. Baby girl weighed in at 4lbs 10oz, which seemed HUGE to me considering Eva was born at 35 weeks weighing 5lbs 8oz, but apparently it is right along the 50th percentile line. She was very cooperative and did lots of deep practice breathing and all the movements they were looking for her to make. We got some great pictures, including one 4D shot that looks just like Eva shortly after she was born!
32w1d: I had my regular OB appointment today. Those appointments are seriously ridiculous when I am having all these ultrasounds.
32w2d: We took Eva to the Fair Hill International Horse Festival today because she is simply OBSESSED with horses. It was much better than we were expecting it to be and Eva had a wonderful time watching the horses jump, petting miniature horses and doing all sorts of crafts! She loved getting a unicorn painted on her hand and making a sand art horse necklace! She even got to ride a school bus, which she has been dying to do since the neighborhood bus stop is right outside our house.
32w3d: We got family portraits taken today at Carousel Park, which is a horse farm in addition to a state park. Eva was more cooperative than I expected her to be and we got gorgeous pictures! I am so happy with them!
32w4d: We hung the large tissue paper flowers I had custom made on Etsy for a mobile above the crib today and I love them!
32w6d: Baby girl was super quiet today so I had to pay close attention to my kick counts. She started bouncing all around when I had a bit of ice cream though!
32w1d: I had my regular OB appointment today. Those appointments are seriously ridiculous when I am having all these ultrasounds.
32w2d: We took Eva to the Fair Hill International Horse Festival today because she is simply OBSESSED with horses. It was much better than we were expecting it to be and Eva had a wonderful time watching the horses jump, petting miniature horses and doing all sorts of crafts! She loved getting a unicorn painted on her hand and making a sand art horse necklace! She even got to ride a school bus, which she has been dying to do since the neighborhood bus stop is right outside our house.
32w3d: We got family portraits taken today at Carousel Park, which is a horse farm in addition to a state park. Eva was more cooperative than I expected her to be and we got gorgeous pictures! I am so happy with them!
32w4d: We hung the large tissue paper flowers I had custom made on Etsy for a mobile above the crib today and I love them!
32w6d: Baby girl was super quiet today so I had to pay close attention to my kick counts. She started bouncing all around when I had a bit of ice cream though!
31 Weeks
31w0d: I took Eva back to the pediatrician to have her urine rechecked following a 10 day course of antibiotics for a UTI. She is getting very good at peeing in a cup and now wants to do it every time I have to at the OB! I got my haircut for the first time in almost a year today at a new salon and I love it!
31w1d: My mom and sister came for the weekend and met Eva and I out for lunch and then drove me home after my weekly shot. It was glorious to come home in my benedryl coma and get to go straight to sleep myself rather than wrestling my 3 year old down for a nap first. Aunts and Grandmas are the best!
31w2d: Sprinkle Day! My mom, sister and closest friends planned a baby sprinkle for me and this growing baby girl. Our host got really sick at the last minute so my sister ended up hosting it at our house, which was fine with me because I didn't have to lug gifts from one place to another. It was a "Little Pumpkin" theme and it was a really special day! Eva was simply head over heels that it was finally her "baby party" day! All the guests contributed to a Big Sister gift basket for Eva so she really got to feel like the guest of honor, which she totally was!
31w3d: My mom, sister, Eva and I went shopping and to lunch before they had to leave. We picked up some much needed newborn sized clothes that will work for this little one for the winter.
31w5d: Seeing the inside of your typically very innie belly button is really freaky! It never popped out when I was pregnant with Eva so this is new to me!
31w1d: My mom and sister came for the weekend and met Eva and I out for lunch and then drove me home after my weekly shot. It was glorious to come home in my benedryl coma and get to go straight to sleep myself rather than wrestling my 3 year old down for a nap first. Aunts and Grandmas are the best!
31w2d: Sprinkle Day! My mom, sister and closest friends planned a baby sprinkle for me and this growing baby girl. Our host got really sick at the last minute so my sister ended up hosting it at our house, which was fine with me because I didn't have to lug gifts from one place to another. It was a "Little Pumpkin" theme and it was a really special day! Eva was simply head over heels that it was finally her "baby party" day! All the guests contributed to a Big Sister gift basket for Eva so she really got to feel like the guest of honor, which she totally was!
31w3d: My mom, sister, Eva and I went shopping and to lunch before they had to leave. We picked up some much needed newborn sized clothes that will work for this little one for the winter.
31w5d: Seeing the inside of your typically very innie belly button is really freaky! It never popped out when I was pregnant with Eva so this is new to me!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
30 Weeks
30w0d: We viewed this as a MAJOR milestone. After two miscarriages, a tricky 29 weeks of pregnancy that included 2 trips to triage, crossing over into the 30s provided a sense of ease. If baby girl is born now, this list of complications has dramatically decreased. I have no plans to let her come this early, but I do have greater peace of mind. I had my last cervical length ultrasound today. They stop these at 30 weeks so I am a graduate! Cervix remains long and thick even with all these painful Braxton Hicks contractions.
30w1d: I went to a different office to get my progesterone shot today and it was a ridiculous disaster. I rushed out of a wonderful lunch with friends to get to the appointment and took my 50 mgs of benedryl on the way in and sat in the waiting room for an hour and 20 minutes! I had to drive from the doctor to pick up my husband for him to drive me home. Luckily it is only across the street because I was so looped out and half asleep by the time they finally called me for the shot. We all got home safely and I was out cold in bed as fast as lightning.
30w2d: We took Eva to pick out this year's crop of pumpkins. She made some great choices and made sure to get one for her little sister too!
30w4d: I don't know what it is about Mondays but I drag all day! I am exhausted by noon and can't seem to catch a second wind. Mondays seem to be the day of the week that I really feel as pregnant as I am!
30w5d: I watched a close friend's 4 month old this morning and Eva was so sweet with her. It is definitely interesting for me to try to hold her though because there is a big belly bump in the way!
30w1d: I went to a different office to get my progesterone shot today and it was a ridiculous disaster. I rushed out of a wonderful lunch with friends to get to the appointment and took my 50 mgs of benedryl on the way in and sat in the waiting room for an hour and 20 minutes! I had to drive from the doctor to pick up my husband for him to drive me home. Luckily it is only across the street because I was so looped out and half asleep by the time they finally called me for the shot. We all got home safely and I was out cold in bed as fast as lightning.
30w2d: We took Eva to pick out this year's crop of pumpkins. She made some great choices and made sure to get one for her little sister too!
30w4d: I don't know what it is about Mondays but I drag all day! I am exhausted by noon and can't seem to catch a second wind. Mondays seem to be the day of the week that I really feel as pregnant as I am!
30w5d: I watched a close friend's 4 month old this morning and Eva was so sweet with her. It is definitely interesting for me to try to hold her though because there is a big belly bump in the way!
Sunday, October 7, 2012
29 Weeks
29w0d: Had Eva's Grammy and Pappy over to spend the night to come with her to Grandparent's Day at preschool tomorrow. She was so excited when they arrived! Eva had 3 pee pee accidents today and seems to be peeing constantly.
29w1d: Grandparent's Day was a huge hit with Eva. She was so proud to have them there to show off at school! We all went to lunch afterwards and it became incredibly clear that Eva is having trouble holding her urine. She had been doing so well and seems to have accidents everyday now, wakes up in the middle of the night to go and has to go constantly. My mind starts to panic out of concern she may be diabetic. I get my shot today and am asleep in the car before Matt gets me home. Passed out in bed in a 4 hour benedryl coma.
29w2d: Asking everyone I know their opinion on Eva's pee situation and diabetes. Get mixed reviews. Someone suggests that she may have a urinary tract infection. Apparently they sell at-home test kits for UTIs so I send Matt right out to the pharmacy and within 20 minutes from the time he is out the door we know that Eva has a raging UTI. I am so relieved I can't even stand it! And yet I feel like dirt for having given her a time out for peeing in her pants for the third time earlier that day. Called the on call doctor and they agreed to see her Sunday morning.
29w3d: UTI confirmed and zero sugar markers in her urine. THANK THE LORD! When given the choice between a flu shot in her arm and the mist up her nose, Eva shocked the world by choosing the shot! She was such a trooper and asked for daddy to hold her while she got it, which was A-OK by me because daddy is never there to be the shot person! She earned a pack of M&Ms out of and all was well with her world! She is so good about taking her UTI medicine!
29w4d: I had a chicken cobb salad from Panera today for lunch and skipped the bread. After an hour I took my sugar, which they want under 130 after meals and it was 49. FORTY NINE!! Felt sick to my stomach for hours as a result of that low sugar. I simply can't win!
29w5d: Matt's 32nd birthday has come and gone and so has one slice of his delicious chocolate cake! It messed my sugars up for an entire day, but it was amazing!!
29w6d: I had my regular OB appointment. Gained a pound so they were pleased with me! I say thank you to the slice of cake!
29w1d: Grandparent's Day was a huge hit with Eva. She was so proud to have them there to show off at school! We all went to lunch afterwards and it became incredibly clear that Eva is having trouble holding her urine. She had been doing so well and seems to have accidents everyday now, wakes up in the middle of the night to go and has to go constantly. My mind starts to panic out of concern she may be diabetic. I get my shot today and am asleep in the car before Matt gets me home. Passed out in bed in a 4 hour benedryl coma.
29w2d: Asking everyone I know their opinion on Eva's pee situation and diabetes. Get mixed reviews. Someone suggests that she may have a urinary tract infection. Apparently they sell at-home test kits for UTIs so I send Matt right out to the pharmacy and within 20 minutes from the time he is out the door we know that Eva has a raging UTI. I am so relieved I can't even stand it! And yet I feel like dirt for having given her a time out for peeing in her pants for the third time earlier that day. Called the on call doctor and they agreed to see her Sunday morning.
29w3d: UTI confirmed and zero sugar markers in her urine. THANK THE LORD! When given the choice between a flu shot in her arm and the mist up her nose, Eva shocked the world by choosing the shot! She was such a trooper and asked for daddy to hold her while she got it, which was A-OK by me because daddy is never there to be the shot person! She earned a pack of M&Ms out of and all was well with her world! She is so good about taking her UTI medicine!
29w4d: I had a chicken cobb salad from Panera today for lunch and skipped the bread. After an hour I took my sugar, which they want under 130 after meals and it was 49. FORTY NINE!! Felt sick to my stomach for hours as a result of that low sugar. I simply can't win!
29w5d: Matt's 32nd birthday has come and gone and so has one slice of his delicious chocolate cake! It messed my sugars up for an entire day, but it was amazing!!
29w6d: I had my regular OB appointment. Gained a pound so they were pleased with me! I say thank you to the slice of cake!
Saturday, September 29, 2012
28 Weeks
28w0d: Cervical length check and ultrasound. Cervix looks great and so does baby girl! Measuring 2lbs 14 oz now and starting to look a lot more like Eva in the 4d pictures! Today, she opened and closed her mouth a few times while we watched, which Eva thought was just the coolest thing ever!
28w1d: regular OB appointment. Got pressure about my lack of weight gain again. Was asked, "are you dieting" and replied, "absolutely. I am 100% actively dieting...because you tell me I have to be!". In the end, she wasn't able to give me any new ideas for what I could eat that would add calories without adding carbs. Frustrating. Got my progesterone shot and itched within a few hours even with the 50mgs of benedryl. Rats!
28w2d: Went to my niece's 5th birthday and my nephew's 1st today! Eva is over the moon for her big cousin and had so much fun at her Wizard of Oz party, which was on a horse farm--our girl is obsessed with all things horses right now! Started to grow concerned while we were there that she has been having so many pee pee accidents lately. She can't seem to hold it. Concerned about diabetes...
28w4d: Was a little nervous today because I wasn't feeling the baby as much as I have been recently. I could rationalize that she may have flipped over and was facing my back, making it harder to feel, but I was still hyper aware of it.
28w5d: Was woken up out of a deep sleep at 3:30 am because baby girl started tap dancing on my bladder. Guess I don't have to worry about how she's doing anymore! She is active and strong as usual!
28w6d: I had to take my engagement ring off today. You would think at almost 29 weeks that would be due to swelling, but no. This stupid GD situation has made me lose so much weight that the ring flung off while I was towel drying after a shower. So stupid.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
My Motherhood=Turning Page
I know this song is supposed to be about lovers, but it describes my journey as a mother to a tee! It makes me an emotional wreck!
Turning Page
I've waiting a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
I would have known what I was living for all along
What I've been living for
Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who you are
Nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
I would have know what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well
With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas
like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
Turning Page
I've waiting a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
I would have known what I was living for all along
What I've been living for
Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who you are
Nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
I would have know what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well
With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas
like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees
27 Weeks
27w0d: p17 injection day. Only 9 weeks left of these things! Had two more painful contractions today.
27w1-3ds: Canceled some plans we had this weekend in order to take it easy and stick close to home after this week's contraction scare. We took Eva to ride the horses at a nearby park and she is just so proud and at home up there in the saddle! I think we have horseback riding lessons in our future for sure!
27w4d: Eva had her picture day at school today and they offered sibling photos so I figured it counted that I had her sibling inside me and we got a mommy/daughter picture!
27w6d: Eva told me that I am going to have lots and lots of babies today! I would love for that to be true!
27w1-3ds: Canceled some plans we had this weekend in order to take it easy and stick close to home after this week's contraction scare. We took Eva to ride the horses at a nearby park and she is just so proud and at home up there in the saddle! I think we have horseback riding lessons in our future for sure!
27w4d: Eva had her picture day at school today and they offered sibling photos so I figured it counted that I had her sibling inside me and we got a mommy/daughter picture!
27w6d: Eva told me that I am going to have lots and lots of babies today! I would love for that to be true!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
26 Weeks
26w0d: Had my regular OB appointment. Got the side-eye/questioned about my lack of weight gain and then an "ah ha" when my response was "well I have GD and I work very hard to stick to the diet so I probably won't be gaining much weight". End of that discussion. Expressed how exhausted I have been lately. Almost fell asleep in the car at a red light yesterday. Took blood to check for anemia...lol...just add that to the pile!
26w1d: Eva's first real day of school today. She is back with her teacher from last year and most of her 2s friends have returned to the 3s program so she is thrilled! She was so shy last year and this year she walked right in like she owns the joint!
26w2d: Asked Eva what she wanted to do today and she said, "go see some animals"! So we took her to the farm/orchard and fed the goats and got the most delicious apples money can buy. We fought over them in the car on the way home!
26w3d: Baby girl is bumping around all day in there! Can see my belly duck and weave as she rolls around! Such fun!
26w4d: Eva had her very first dance class today! She was so excited to go, very shy to start, but walked right in with her class and did so great! They have a tv up in the waiting area so you can watch the lesson and she listened to her teacher and had a smile on her face the whole time. In the end, she was the only one to cry, but she cried because it was over!!!!
26w5d: Eva helped me watch our friend's baby this morning. She was REALLY into helping me feed her a bottle and change her diaper and keep her happy! I hope the novelty doesn't wear off before her sister comes! I am sure it will get old fast when she is doing that every day for weeks on end, but it was really sweet to watch her in that role today! Grandma came to visit today and when she knocked on the door, Eva jumped up and down and couldn't get to the door to let her in fast enough, shouting "grandma's here! grandma's here!!!!". :-) Got my bloodwork results back and I am NOT anemic! Victory #1!
26w6d: Had a very normal morning and afternoon and got Eva to bed easily and then.....8:45 I was sitting on the couch and I felt a contraction. Not a regular Braxton Hicks and not a "Holy Shit that bitch hurts" contraction but somewhere in between. It definitely had an element of pain associated with it. So I sat and watched the clock. 8:49 there was another one. 8:53. 8:57. 9:01. 9:05. Time to say something out loud. Matt got me some water and nothing changed. Every 4 minutes. Luckily Grandma was here to stay with Eva because we were in the car on the way to the hospital by 9:30 and called the doctor on the way. At registration they asked the questions that could mean my water broke and it dawned on me that I had to change my underwear mid day because they were wet. I had assumed I just peed a little because, c'mon, that happens at this point, but what if my water actually broke?!? So here is where some serious concern turned into panic for me and I ended up shaking uncontrollably. They fast tracked me and I was called back to a room as soon as one was available. They set me up on the monitors and she hated it again and began kicking right at it! The doctor came in shortly and luckily my water had not broken and my cervix was closed and in her opinion "not threatening at all" so it was just a matter of stopping the contractions. They set me up on an IV to give me fluids and that slowed them but didn't stop them. So I got a shot of something that relaxes soft muscles and that did the trick, but of course made me super jittery and freezing because the IV fluid pumping through my veins was ice cold. They did a test to see my likelihood of delivering in the next two weeks and it was 97% unlikely...THANK GOD! In the end, the doctor told me what I am having are just Braxton Hicks, but apparently they can be painful and still be just Braxton Hicks as long as they aren't progressive in opening my cervix. So I may just get these now. It's very unnerving because how am I supposed to know when it's something threatening and when it's not??? So I am supposed to "take it easy" and "not go too far" but am on no degree of bed rest or anything like that. I see my doctor again this week on Friday and get a cervical check with maternal fetal medicine on Thursday so I am well covered this week and happy about that! I am so relieved that everything was fine and that this little girl didn't have anything funny planned just shy of 27 weeks. She is throwing me one curve ball after another here!
26w1d: Eva's first real day of school today. She is back with her teacher from last year and most of her 2s friends have returned to the 3s program so she is thrilled! She was so shy last year and this year she walked right in like she owns the joint!
26w2d: Asked Eva what she wanted to do today and she said, "go see some animals"! So we took her to the farm/orchard and fed the goats and got the most delicious apples money can buy. We fought over them in the car on the way home!
26w3d: Baby girl is bumping around all day in there! Can see my belly duck and weave as she rolls around! Such fun!
26w4d: Eva had her very first dance class today! She was so excited to go, very shy to start, but walked right in with her class and did so great! They have a tv up in the waiting area so you can watch the lesson and she listened to her teacher and had a smile on her face the whole time. In the end, she was the only one to cry, but she cried because it was over!!!!
26w5d: Eva helped me watch our friend's baby this morning. She was REALLY into helping me feed her a bottle and change her diaper and keep her happy! I hope the novelty doesn't wear off before her sister comes! I am sure it will get old fast when she is doing that every day for weeks on end, but it was really sweet to watch her in that role today! Grandma came to visit today and when she knocked on the door, Eva jumped up and down and couldn't get to the door to let her in fast enough, shouting "grandma's here! grandma's here!!!!". :-) Got my bloodwork results back and I am NOT anemic! Victory #1!
26w6d: Had a very normal morning and afternoon and got Eva to bed easily and then.....8:45 I was sitting on the couch and I felt a contraction. Not a regular Braxton Hicks and not a "Holy Shit that bitch hurts" contraction but somewhere in between. It definitely had an element of pain associated with it. So I sat and watched the clock. 8:49 there was another one. 8:53. 8:57. 9:01. 9:05. Time to say something out loud. Matt got me some water and nothing changed. Every 4 minutes. Luckily Grandma was here to stay with Eva because we were in the car on the way to the hospital by 9:30 and called the doctor on the way. At registration they asked the questions that could mean my water broke and it dawned on me that I had to change my underwear mid day because they were wet. I had assumed I just peed a little because, c'mon, that happens at this point, but what if my water actually broke?!? So here is where some serious concern turned into panic for me and I ended up shaking uncontrollably. They fast tracked me and I was called back to a room as soon as one was available. They set me up on the monitors and she hated it again and began kicking right at it! The doctor came in shortly and luckily my water had not broken and my cervix was closed and in her opinion "not threatening at all" so it was just a matter of stopping the contractions. They set me up on an IV to give me fluids and that slowed them but didn't stop them. So I got a shot of something that relaxes soft muscles and that did the trick, but of course made me super jittery and freezing because the IV fluid pumping through my veins was ice cold. They did a test to see my likelihood of delivering in the next two weeks and it was 97% unlikely...THANK GOD! In the end, the doctor told me what I am having are just Braxton Hicks, but apparently they can be painful and still be just Braxton Hicks as long as they aren't progressive in opening my cervix. So I may just get these now. It's very unnerving because how am I supposed to know when it's something threatening and when it's not??? So I am supposed to "take it easy" and "not go too far" but am on no degree of bed rest or anything like that. I see my doctor again this week on Friday and get a cervical check with maternal fetal medicine on Thursday so I am well covered this week and happy about that! I am so relieved that everything was fine and that this little girl didn't have anything funny planned just shy of 27 weeks. She is throwing me one curve ball after another here!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
25 Weeks
25w0d: Eva came with me to work this morning at her school. She is so excited to start preschool back up that it makes me smile! I was on my feet a lot this morning and I felt my first Braxton Hicks contraction and felt...well, vaginally engorged off and on.
25w1d: Eva had her preschool classroom visit today while I worked at her school. She had an amazing day. I increasingly experienced contractions all morning and felt consistently engorged, enough that I called my doctor about it and they suggested I go to triage. I dropped Eva off with Matt and he took her to our friend's house and I went to triage. I was prepared for a long haul there as usual, but they actually called me back in 10 minutes, which has got to be a record for that place! They hooked me and baby girl up on all the monitors and began to watch us. She did not like the monitor on her. She kicked repeatedly and vigorously right at the placement of the monitor! They clocked a contraction, during which her heart rate dropped, which was a concern to them. They ordered an IV set up for me but didn't put it in (this was the only moment I was really concerned at all). They told me to lay on my side and as soon as I did, her heart rate returned to normal and they said that's not abnormal at 25 weeks. They wheeled me over to maternal fetal medicine for a cervical check and I was long and closed so they began discharge paperwork and told me that everything is normal for now. I have begun Braxton Hicks on the early side of normal and that is totally fine as long as they aren't productive in shortening my cervix. So I will just continue my normal cervical exams every other week and see what happens from there! I got my p17 shot while there.
25w2d-5d: Took it really easy and slow all weekend and made a point to relax as a family. Matt was able to finish painting Eva's bed and it looks great in her room! She has been so excited about it and she hasn't fallen out yet, which of course is great! No allergic reaction or soreness from the p17 shot at all this week!
25w6d: I went for my regularly scheduled cervical check today and my cervix was actually longer today than it was in triage on Friday thanks to that glorious p17 injection!
25w1d: Eva had her preschool classroom visit today while I worked at her school. She had an amazing day. I increasingly experienced contractions all morning and felt consistently engorged, enough that I called my doctor about it and they suggested I go to triage. I dropped Eva off with Matt and he took her to our friend's house and I went to triage. I was prepared for a long haul there as usual, but they actually called me back in 10 minutes, which has got to be a record for that place! They hooked me and baby girl up on all the monitors and began to watch us. She did not like the monitor on her. She kicked repeatedly and vigorously right at the placement of the monitor! They clocked a contraction, during which her heart rate dropped, which was a concern to them. They ordered an IV set up for me but didn't put it in (this was the only moment I was really concerned at all). They told me to lay on my side and as soon as I did, her heart rate returned to normal and they said that's not abnormal at 25 weeks. They wheeled me over to maternal fetal medicine for a cervical check and I was long and closed so they began discharge paperwork and told me that everything is normal for now. I have begun Braxton Hicks on the early side of normal and that is totally fine as long as they aren't productive in shortening my cervix. So I will just continue my normal cervical exams every other week and see what happens from there! I got my p17 shot while there.
25w2d-5d: Took it really easy and slow all weekend and made a point to relax as a family. Matt was able to finish painting Eva's bed and it looks great in her room! She has been so excited about it and she hasn't fallen out yet, which of course is great! No allergic reaction or soreness from the p17 shot at all this week!
25w6d: I went for my regularly scheduled cervical check today and my cervix was actually longer today than it was in triage on Friday thanks to that glorious p17 injection!
Monday, September 3, 2012
24 Weeks
24w1d: got my p17 shot and it hurt like a motherf-er today for some reason. i don't know if she shot it in faster that normal or what but holy hell!
24w2d: matt started working on building eva's big girl day bed today. it was something i had pinned on pinterest awhile ago and he took the plans and got all the materials. he made all the cuts today and will assemble tomorrow! i am so excited! i took eva to a horse farm and she went on a pony ride today. she was in absolute heaven on that horse!
24w3d: the bed looks amazing! i could burst with pride and now matt's honey-do (or really "honey-build") list is growing quickly!! just need to paint it now!
24w4d: spent the day in hershey park with my parents-in-law, step-sister-in-law and nieces and nephew. was very stressed about putting my diabetic self in that situation. surrounded by chocolatey sweetness was difficult. i was just hyper aware of it all day (um, yum the smores made from two chocolate chip cookies, marshmallow and a reeses cup!!!), but i held strong. after lunch (a salad), I got an email from my nurses telling me to up my night time dose to 12 units now because my fastings have still be high. this sent me into tears. later, my sugar crashed and i split some ice cream with eva to elevate it back up. there is no winning. but eva had an amazing time at hershey with her cousins! she loved all the rides, but mostly the little frog hopper, dizzy drums and carousel! she loves anything with horses these days!
24w6d: had eva's best little friends here this afternoon. eva is so into taking care of her best friend's baby sister! she was much more interested in watching me feed her a bottle than playing princesses with her friend! hope the novelty doesn't wear off before her sister comes!
24w2d: matt started working on building eva's big girl day bed today. it was something i had pinned on pinterest awhile ago and he took the plans and got all the materials. he made all the cuts today and will assemble tomorrow! i am so excited! i took eva to a horse farm and she went on a pony ride today. she was in absolute heaven on that horse!
24w3d: the bed looks amazing! i could burst with pride and now matt's honey-do (or really "honey-build") list is growing quickly!! just need to paint it now!
24w4d: spent the day in hershey park with my parents-in-law, step-sister-in-law and nieces and nephew. was very stressed about putting my diabetic self in that situation. surrounded by chocolatey sweetness was difficult. i was just hyper aware of it all day (um, yum the smores made from two chocolate chip cookies, marshmallow and a reeses cup!!!), but i held strong. after lunch (a salad), I got an email from my nurses telling me to up my night time dose to 12 units now because my fastings have still be high. this sent me into tears. later, my sugar crashed and i split some ice cream with eva to elevate it back up. there is no winning. but eva had an amazing time at hershey with her cousins! she loved all the rides, but mostly the little frog hopper, dizzy drums and carousel! she loves anything with horses these days!
24w6d: had eva's best little friends here this afternoon. eva is so into taking care of her best friend's baby sister! she was much more interested in watching me feed her a bottle than playing princesses with her friend! hope the novelty doesn't wear off before her sister comes!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
23 Weeks
23w0d: had my mother's friend give me my p17 shot today while on 50mgs of benedryl. katie was on eva duty after that as i became a puddle on the couch! slept great all night!
23w1d: drove back home today and eva was AMAZING in the car! she didn't whine or complain once and told me when she had to go to the bathroom. we stopped at a starbucks and i told her i wanted a coffee drink and she said she wanted one too. when i said she probably wouldn't like coffee but they may have something else, she said, "hmmmm. i think i would like strawberry juice"! lucky day for me that they had some! she was so excited to get home and see that daddy had painted her bedroom pink! she loves it!
23w2d: took eva to ikea today to get her a dresser for her big girl room! she was so excited about ikea and loved all the red couches and chairs!
23w4d: had an echo ultrasound today along with my cervical check. cervix looks great. the echo focuses on the heart and everything came up with a clean bill of health. baby is weighing in at 1lb 6oz and we got an amazing 4D shot of her! she looks nothing like eva did in her 4Ds so we are so excited to meet her!
23w5d: something is going wacky with my sugars. my fasting readings have been really high for the last few days, which is affecting breakfast and lunch readings as well. i called in to the doctor and it looks like i have hit that point where baby is just getting bigger and is sucking more insulin from me naturally. so i will be upping my night time dose to 10mgs and adding a dose of 5mgs in the morning to help with lunch. hoping this does the trick!
23w1d: drove back home today and eva was AMAZING in the car! she didn't whine or complain once and told me when she had to go to the bathroom. we stopped at a starbucks and i told her i wanted a coffee drink and she said she wanted one too. when i said she probably wouldn't like coffee but they may have something else, she said, "hmmmm. i think i would like strawberry juice"! lucky day for me that they had some! she was so excited to get home and see that daddy had painted her bedroom pink! she loves it!
23w2d: took eva to ikea today to get her a dresser for her big girl room! she was so excited about ikea and loved all the red couches and chairs!
23w4d: had an echo ultrasound today along with my cervical check. cervix looks great. the echo focuses on the heart and everything came up with a clean bill of health. baby is weighing in at 1lb 6oz and we got an amazing 4D shot of her! she looks nothing like eva did in her 4Ds so we are so excited to meet her!
23w5d: something is going wacky with my sugars. my fasting readings have been really high for the last few days, which is affecting breakfast and lunch readings as well. i called in to the doctor and it looks like i have hit that point where baby is just getting bigger and is sucking more insulin from me naturally. so i will be upping my night time dose to 10mgs and adding a dose of 5mgs in the morning to help with lunch. hoping this does the trick!
Friday, August 17, 2012
22 Weeks
22w1d: cervical length and level 2 ultrasound. everything looked great! baby girl measured 1lb 2 oz and was active, but cooperative! got slapped for some high sugar numbers, but also reassured about not gaining any weight. they said that as long as baby gains, i could lose all the weight i want and they won't bother me at all about it, so that was fantastic news for me! have to refocus this coming week on a perfect GD diet to not have to add more medication. also got my p17 progesterone shot while at the regular OB later in the morning, where they told me I have gained 2 lbs and agreed that they are not worried about it. I tried only taking 25mgs of benedryl, which left me less sleepy but very sore. i got my big question answered about having a scheduled csection and what happens if i go into labor early again: will i have to sit in labor for 36 hours again like i did with eva before they take the baby? she said, if i am after 34 weeks they wont make me sit there. anything prior to that, i will be begging them to stop the labor myself! so we are on the same page there!
22w2d: i am itchy!! 25mgs of benedryl didn't do the trick for this allergic momma! darn! went to a friend's baby shower and it activated some nesting desire in me! i got the bedding fabric swatches in the mail that i ordered and had my heart set on for baby's room and i hated them. i was so upset. ordered some new swatches and hoping it works much better!
22w3d: lazy day around the house with matt and eva. eva is becoming such a big girl! i don't know where the time has gone!
22w4d: went to my first work meeting of the year this morning while eva played at a friend's house. she told me all about how her friend hit and pushed her and how "no one gets to hit me! i don't like it!". we then packed up and hit the road to spend the week in Richmond with my mom and sister.
22w5d: took eva to the richmond children's museum. it was ideal for eva's age and she had a lot of fun...eventually. at first, it was so crowded and loud that eva had a hard time finding her footing and lots of kids were bowling over her and taking things from her. once a lot of kids left to go home for nap, she came to life and loved the train ride, art studio and riding whales! we then went to lunch and she was thrilled when her aunt katie hunted down a little shopping cart for her to do her own grocery shopping at whole foods. she chose strawberries, apple juice and marshmallows!
22w6d: went outlet shopping in williamsburg today. got one thing for me (a cardigan sweater i can wear now and after baby), one thing for baby (a winter coat) and about 100 things for eva including 2 tutus, a leopard print corduroy skirt, hot pink boots and a kitty backpack for school!
22w2d: i am itchy!! 25mgs of benedryl didn't do the trick for this allergic momma! darn! went to a friend's baby shower and it activated some nesting desire in me! i got the bedding fabric swatches in the mail that i ordered and had my heart set on for baby's room and i hated them. i was so upset. ordered some new swatches and hoping it works much better!
22w3d: lazy day around the house with matt and eva. eva is becoming such a big girl! i don't know where the time has gone!
22w4d: went to my first work meeting of the year this morning while eva played at a friend's house. she told me all about how her friend hit and pushed her and how "no one gets to hit me! i don't like it!". we then packed up and hit the road to spend the week in Richmond with my mom and sister.
22w5d: took eva to the richmond children's museum. it was ideal for eva's age and she had a lot of fun...eventually. at first, it was so crowded and loud that eva had a hard time finding her footing and lots of kids were bowling over her and taking things from her. once a lot of kids left to go home for nap, she came to life and loved the train ride, art studio and riding whales! we then went to lunch and she was thrilled when her aunt katie hunted down a little shopping cart for her to do her own grocery shopping at whole foods. she chose strawberries, apple juice and marshmallows!
22w6d: went outlet shopping in williamsburg today. got one thing for me (a cardigan sweater i can wear now and after baby), one thing for baby (a winter coat) and about 100 things for eva including 2 tutus, a leopard print corduroy skirt, hot pink boots and a kitty backpack for school!
Friday, August 10, 2012
21 Weeks
21w0d-21w3d: enjoyed our last beach days and then headed back to richmond for the night to break up the drive back home. when we got in the car to leave, eva declared that she wants the beach house to come to her birthday party next year which is the best way to tell us how much fun she had this week!!! she was sad to leave but excited to go to grandma's house for the day before heading home so that was a good plan! one of my mother's nurse friends generously gave me this week's progesterone shot while on 50mgs of benedryl. i had almost no allergic reaction this time but i was LOOOOOOPY! we returned to no air conditioning because ours crapped out the day we left for vacation. it was cool in the basement so we brought the big air mattress down there and all had a sleep over party which was special for eva and a nice welcome home!
21w4d: got settled back in at home while the new AC was being installed. it was up and running by mid day and we now feel comfy and cool and highly efficient! brought eva over to her best friend's house to have dinner and swim in the pool on matt's last day off from work.
21w5d: starting to get much stronger kicks and punches from this little munchkin. i keep swearing that matt should be able to feel it, but he can't so i think i am just beginning to frustrate him!
21w6d: spent the day at the pool with eva with her pool friends. can't believe it's already nearing the end of summer! only a few weeks left of freedom!
21w4d: got settled back in at home while the new AC was being installed. it was up and running by mid day and we now feel comfy and cool and highly efficient! brought eva over to her best friend's house to have dinner and swim in the pool on matt's last day off from work.
21w5d: starting to get much stronger kicks and punches from this little munchkin. i keep swearing that matt should be able to feel it, but he can't so i think i am just beginning to frustrate him!
21w6d: spent the day at the pool with eva with her pool friends. can't believe it's already nearing the end of summer! only a few weeks left of freedom!
20 Weeks
20w0d: had an absolute breakdown because I had the same thing for breakfast 3 mornings in a row and my numbers increased from 88 to 181 for no reason I could decipher other than the fact they had dropped me to 6 units of insulin. had the AC guy here as I ugly cried on the phone while leaving a message for my GD nurse. embarrassing!
20w1d: cervical length ultrasound went well and my best friend got to attend! doctor kindly talked me off the ledge about my breakdown yesterday. back up to 8 units of insulin. first time taking 50mgs of benedryl before the progesterone shot. was dead asleep within an hour. drove down to richmond on our way to south carolina for a week of much needed vacation!
20w2d: 8 hours driving from richmond-fripp island, south carolina. 15 minutes into the ride, eva said, "mommy I want to get out now"! some moments were challenging but overall eva did great and we had a smooth ride! so happy to be at the beach!
20w3d-20w6d: the joy of fripp island! we spent full days on the beach and got to witness eva absolutely beside herself with love over the sand and surf! she is such a beach babe! she absolutely loves the ocean and built sand castles for hours on end! she took two beach naps (firsts for her! especially because she didn't have her gig blankie!) and made friends wherever she went! She loves she crab soup, hush puppies and cornbread and had them almost every night for dinner. i allowed myself a few vacation indulgences and had a few hush puppies, some bites of key lime pie and a delicious bowl of honey nut cheerios after the beach one day!
20w1d: cervical length ultrasound went well and my best friend got to attend! doctor kindly talked me off the ledge about my breakdown yesterday. back up to 8 units of insulin. first time taking 50mgs of benedryl before the progesterone shot. was dead asleep within an hour. drove down to richmond on our way to south carolina for a week of much needed vacation!
20w2d: 8 hours driving from richmond-fripp island, south carolina. 15 minutes into the ride, eva said, "mommy I want to get out now"! some moments were challenging but overall eva did great and we had a smooth ride! so happy to be at the beach!
20w3d-20w6d: the joy of fripp island! we spent full days on the beach and got to witness eva absolutely beside herself with love over the sand and surf! she is such a beach babe! she absolutely loves the ocean and built sand castles for hours on end! she took two beach naps (firsts for her! especially because she didn't have her gig blankie!) and made friends wherever she went! She loves she crab soup, hush puppies and cornbread and had them almost every night for dinner. i allowed myself a few vacation indulgences and had a few hush puppies, some bites of key lime pie and a delicious bowl of honey nut cheerios after the beach one day!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
19 Weeks
19w0d: got to visit with one of my best friends and her 10 month old daughter today. Eva was so gentle and snuggly with "Baby Ella" and even shared her special Gigi blankie with her, which is the highest possible honor in this house! my sister also came this day with her puppy, Ginger, to help me start to get ready for Eva's birthday party this weekend!
19w1d: got my 4th P-17 hydroxyprogesterone shot. a GD nurse i don't really like started pressing me about my fasting sugars, suggesting they are too low. i told her i am not having symptoms of sugar crashes but she calls me an hour later and tells me to lower my insulin to 6 units at bedtime. i wonder why this is the only nurse that has seen a problem in 8 weeks on insulin and why it would be just now that they would LOWER me...but i do what i am told.
19w2d: Eva's 3rd Birthday Puppy Party! It was a great day with friends and family! Eva had lots of friends and cousins over to share her special day and she opened an awesome bouncy house that was the hit of the party! She had such a great day and was overwhelmed with depression when everyone started leaving! She continues to ask when she will be turning 4!
19w3d: woke up to a major allergic reaction to my shot. red, hot to the touch, patch about the size of a tennis ball on my ass at the injection site that itches something fierce!
19w4d: Eva had her 3 year well baby visit at her pediatrician. 28.5lbs for our little peanut. 20/30 vision in both eyes and she did a great job cooperating with the doctor and nurses! i then went to the specialist to have them check my allergic reaction. 2 nurse and 2 doctors later, they agreed i am one of a the smallest smidge of a percentage of women would have any sort of reaction to this medication. they now need me to take 50mgs of benedryl before i get the shot which means i can't drive myself home and will be of little use to Eva those days. not sure how that will play out...if i continue with a reaction, they will have to stop the injections and they are my total peace of mind right now so that sets me into a bit of a panic.
19w5d: Eva and i drove into new jersey to pick up my best friend, Laura, who is visiting from florida this week. eva was so excited to see her and is absolutely smitten with her "Aunt Youra"! ate multigrain bagel flat with cream cheese for breakfast and my sugar was 88 after an hour=victory!
19w6d: had a multigrain bagel flat with cream cheese and my sugar was 150 after an hour=WTF and why?!?????!!
19w1d: got my 4th P-17 hydroxyprogesterone shot. a GD nurse i don't really like started pressing me about my fasting sugars, suggesting they are too low. i told her i am not having symptoms of sugar crashes but she calls me an hour later and tells me to lower my insulin to 6 units at bedtime. i wonder why this is the only nurse that has seen a problem in 8 weeks on insulin and why it would be just now that they would LOWER me...but i do what i am told.
19w2d: Eva's 3rd Birthday Puppy Party! It was a great day with friends and family! Eva had lots of friends and cousins over to share her special day and she opened an awesome bouncy house that was the hit of the party! She had such a great day and was overwhelmed with depression when everyone started leaving! She continues to ask when she will be turning 4!
19w3d: woke up to a major allergic reaction to my shot. red, hot to the touch, patch about the size of a tennis ball on my ass at the injection site that itches something fierce!
19w4d: Eva had her 3 year well baby visit at her pediatrician. 28.5lbs for our little peanut. 20/30 vision in both eyes and she did a great job cooperating with the doctor and nurses! i then went to the specialist to have them check my allergic reaction. 2 nurse and 2 doctors later, they agreed i am one of a the smallest smidge of a percentage of women would have any sort of reaction to this medication. they now need me to take 50mgs of benedryl before i get the shot which means i can't drive myself home and will be of little use to Eva those days. not sure how that will play out...if i continue with a reaction, they will have to stop the injections and they are my total peace of mind right now so that sets me into a bit of a panic.
19w5d: Eva and i drove into new jersey to pick up my best friend, Laura, who is visiting from florida this week. eva was so excited to see her and is absolutely smitten with her "Aunt Youra"! ate multigrain bagel flat with cream cheese for breakfast and my sugar was 88 after an hour=victory!
19w6d: had a multigrain bagel flat with cream cheese and my sugar was 150 after an hour=WTF and why?!?????!!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
18 Weeks
18w1d: EVA WAS RIGHT! She is getting a little sister! We are all so over the moon! We got this news at my specialist appointment today where I had a genetic counseling session (basically told her to stop talking because none of the information she could give us was of any concern or interest to us), a cervical length ultrasound, Level 2 ultrasound and hydroxyprogesterone shot. It was a long appointment! In the end, cervical length was good, baby looked great, measuring a few days bigger than scheduled, and the shot still hurts like hell!
18w2d: I finally outted this pregnancy on facebook and everyone has been very kind in response!
18w3d: Took a trip down to DC for a family Baptism. Once there, I started to realize that the injection site from Friday was swollen and beginning to itch.
18w4d: Eva had her second swim lesson this morning and I was so proud that she put her face in the water by the end of it! Definitely noticed that I am having some sort of reaction to the shot I got on Friday--itchy itchy itchy!
18w5d: Happy 3rd Birthday to big sister, Eva! What a great day for such a special girl!
18w6d: Confirmed allergic reaction to the hydroxyprogesterone shot. They feel the importance of the shot overrides the threat of reaction so there will be no stopping them, which I am glad about.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
17 Weeks
17w0d: we spent the day in ocean city, maryland with my best friend and her husband who were up from florida for the week. it was a scorcher! definitely feeling the effects of combining pregnancy and 100 degree weather! we had a great day. eva was more timid with the ocean than in years past, which is a good thing actually, having been so fearless last year. she wanted to swim but only if clung to me or matt and she played an equal amount in the sand, filling buckets with sand crabs!
17w1d: 2nd shot of hydroxyprogesterone in the ass. didn't hurt as long this time but about 20 mins after i got it i thought about removing my right butt cheek through any surgical means necessary to make the burning stop!
17w2d: had some family over for an afternoon of crab picking! yum! glad i can at least have that indulgence with GD!
17w3d: matt got sick with my virus from last week! he was out for the count all day so i took eva to the movies to see "brave". she had a hard time sitting through some of it and although i thought it was good, it wasn't what i expected and wasn't funny like i was hoping. in the end, we enjoyed sharing some popcorn and spending the day together!
17w4d: met up with my sister and her boyfriend in baltimore for the day. we ate at bubba gump shrimp and had the worst waiter i have ever had in my life. he didn't put in the whole order and this pregnant diabetic was at risk of sugar crashing while i waited for my meal. he then made some lame excuse about it and didn't attempt to comp us a thing. jerk-wad! we took eva to the aquarium and she loved watching a diver feed a sea turtle lettuce! we took her to her first dolphin show and i barely watched it because i was too busy watching her watching it because she was so excited!! it was a gorgeous summer day in the inner harbor with no humidity, which baby and i both appreciated!
17w5d: spent a gorgeous day at the pool with eva. sported my one and only maternity bathing suit. i have definitely popped! i look about 26 wks rather than 17!
17w6d: regular OB appointment. why do i get so gun shy when it comes to having to pee in the cups on command. i had to go, i just couldn't go! maybe it's the fact that eva won't stop talking to me for 3 seconds while i am attempting to aim into the cup? either way, it didn't happen and i had to try again before i left, which proved to be much more successful! my weight looks good, gained about 3 pounds in nearly 18 weeks. eva got to help turn on the doppler. baby kept moving around and is hiding behind the placenta so it wasn't an instant find, but once she got the heartbeat, eva's face lit up! "mommy, that your baby heart go boom boom boom!?".
17w1d: 2nd shot of hydroxyprogesterone in the ass. didn't hurt as long this time but about 20 mins after i got it i thought about removing my right butt cheek through any surgical means necessary to make the burning stop!
17w2d: had some family over for an afternoon of crab picking! yum! glad i can at least have that indulgence with GD!
17w3d: matt got sick with my virus from last week! he was out for the count all day so i took eva to the movies to see "brave". she had a hard time sitting through some of it and although i thought it was good, it wasn't what i expected and wasn't funny like i was hoping. in the end, we enjoyed sharing some popcorn and spending the day together!
17w4d: met up with my sister and her boyfriend in baltimore for the day. we ate at bubba gump shrimp and had the worst waiter i have ever had in my life. he didn't put in the whole order and this pregnant diabetic was at risk of sugar crashing while i waited for my meal. he then made some lame excuse about it and didn't attempt to comp us a thing. jerk-wad! we took eva to the aquarium and she loved watching a diver feed a sea turtle lettuce! we took her to her first dolphin show and i barely watched it because i was too busy watching her watching it because she was so excited!! it was a gorgeous summer day in the inner harbor with no humidity, which baby and i both appreciated!
17w5d: spent a gorgeous day at the pool with eva. sported my one and only maternity bathing suit. i have definitely popped! i look about 26 wks rather than 17!
17w6d: regular OB appointment. why do i get so gun shy when it comes to having to pee in the cups on command. i had to go, i just couldn't go! maybe it's the fact that eva won't stop talking to me for 3 seconds while i am attempting to aim into the cup? either way, it didn't happen and i had to try again before i left, which proved to be much more successful! my weight looks good, gained about 3 pounds in nearly 18 weeks. eva got to help turn on the doppler. baby kept moving around and is hiding behind the placenta so it wasn't an instant find, but once she got the heartbeat, eva's face lit up! "mommy, that your baby heart go boom boom boom!?".
Saturday, July 7, 2012
16 Weeks
16w1d: first cervical length ultrasound and hydroxyprogesterone shot at maternal fetal medicine. the cervical length checks will be every other week unless they see shortening and then i will go every week. i am getting them because eva arrived 5 weeks early and they don't know why so they have to assume it may have been due to cervical shortening. this ultrasound is done transvaginally and then they give me a quick transabdominal ultrasound. i nearly passed out when the transvaginal ultrasound began because i didn't see a baby at all: no baby, no placenta, no uterus, nada. just grey matter. i wish they had prepared me for that but apparently i am passed the point that you can really see the baby through that type of ultrasound because the uterus has lifted up, which you would know if you saw my expanding belly! the cervical length was what they wanted to see and they did the regular ultrasound briefly. baby shire is doing well! active and evasive at the same time. baby always seems to be looking away so we don't get a good look at his/her face and also is never in a great position to assure us if we have a boy or a girl on our hands 100%. i am getting the hydroxyprogesterone every week. it is a shot in the ass and damn does it hurt! human pin cushion right here!
16w2d: got the shot yesterday on my left side and i am so sore there i can't lean on it or sleep on that side at all. not fun.
16w3d: sick as a dog. i woke up hit by a train with a virus or what i thought possibly was the flu. vomiting, sore throat, chills, headache....luckily it is a sunday and matt is on complete eva duty. didn't get out of bed all day.
16w4d: virus continues and is officially throwing my sugars into blender. crashing and rising along with illness is no fun, especially when i am supposed to avoid the comfort of comfort foods.
16w5d: worst sore throat of my life continues and i go to the doctor for a strep test. negative.
16w6d: happy 4th of july! we took eva to our local parade and it was about 1000 degrees. i thought i might pass out after about 30 minutes so we had to pack up and leave. eva LOVES parades! this year she took special interest in the firetrucks, the mounted police and the people throwing candy! "i want some candy!!" she would put her finger in her mouth and "whistle" to get their attention! "yoo hoo, eva right here!!". she makes me laugh!
16w2d: got the shot yesterday on my left side and i am so sore there i can't lean on it or sleep on that side at all. not fun.
16w3d: sick as a dog. i woke up hit by a train with a virus or what i thought possibly was the flu. vomiting, sore throat, chills, headache....luckily it is a sunday and matt is on complete eva duty. didn't get out of bed all day.
16w4d: virus continues and is officially throwing my sugars into blender. crashing and rising along with illness is no fun, especially when i am supposed to avoid the comfort of comfort foods.
16w5d: worst sore throat of my life continues and i go to the doctor for a strep test. negative.
16w6d: happy 4th of july! we took eva to our local parade and it was about 1000 degrees. i thought i might pass out after about 30 minutes so we had to pack up and leave. eva LOVES parades! this year she took special interest in the firetrucks, the mounted police and the people throwing candy! "i want some candy!!" she would put her finger in her mouth and "whistle" to get their attention! "yoo hoo, eva right here!!". she makes me laugh!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
15 Weeks
15 weeks has been a pretty low-key week. I didn't have any doctor's appointments and no sugar crashes, although I am already sick to death of eggs and salads. I have been feeling the baby move in the form of what feels like gas rolls for weeks now without any real regularity, but this week, I felt the pitter patter of actual baby legs kicking around. It went on for about 5 minutes one night and it felt like my pulse was in my uterus. Such a wonderful feeling! I also had to pop the buttons on my pants open while driving this week for the first time and slipped on my first pair of maternity pants at the end of the week. Most of my maternity stuff is WAY too big and I am sort of in refusal mode to go buy any so I ordered some belly bands and hope they arrive quickly to get me through this awkward stage! In 15 weeks, I have gained 2 pounds so I feel good about that.
Eva is stoked to be a big sister. Her best friend, Lana, recently became a big sister and Eva is ready to join the bandwagon. She will look into my belly button and ask, "baby in there? far far away in there? i can't see her" (she is CONVINCED it is a girl. There is no reasoning with her that it may be a boy!). She asks me what the baby's name is and whether it is awake or sleeping throughout the day. I have told her that the baby will come home when we are getting ready for Santa to come so she is doubly excited about the mention of Santa.
I am anxious for my ultrasound at 16w1d. It will be my first check on the baby in 3.5 weeks, since I left the specialist. I am praying everything looks great and my cervical length is just what they expect it to be. I am hoping they can also tell us if Eva is right...is this a little sister?
Eva is stoked to be a big sister. Her best friend, Lana, recently became a big sister and Eva is ready to join the bandwagon. She will look into my belly button and ask, "baby in there? far far away in there? i can't see her" (she is CONVINCED it is a girl. There is no reasoning with her that it may be a boy!). She asks me what the baby's name is and whether it is awake or sleeping throughout the day. I have told her that the baby will come home when we are getting ready for Santa to come so she is doubly excited about the mention of Santa.
I am anxious for my ultrasound at 16w1d. It will be my first check on the baby in 3.5 weeks, since I left the specialist. I am praying everything looks great and my cervical length is just what they expect it to be. I am hoping they can also tell us if Eva is right...is this a little sister?
Thursday, June 21, 2012
14 weeks
14 weeks.
14w0d: first MAJOR sugar crash of my life. after 10 units of insulin at bedtime, I am supposed to lie inactive for 8 hours. Instead, I was up ALLLLLLL night with a sick Eva. at 3am, my sugar crashed violently. I took the reading and it was 58. I treated it the way they told me to the other day and ate chocolate. my hands were so shaky that I could barely open the wrapper. then I spent the entire day ping ponging with my sugars going too high and then too low. felt disgusting all day. nurse said i no longer get to treat with chocolate....wahhhhhh.
14w1d: big excitement in the Shire household=after 6 months of torturous potty training, Eva made it to five dry days in a row, which means she has earned herself a bike!
14w2d: spent the day with family at my brother in law's engagement party. was told there would be tons for me to eat and not to pack anything for myself. WRONG! lesson learned that I need to ALWAYS bring something for myself when we are eating out.
14w3d: Father's Day and second major sugar crash. my poor husband had a crap father's day because I woke up at 62 and puked twice before 9am, then had a raging headache and he sent me to bed until I evened out, which was around 3pm.
14w4d: dropped to 8 units of insulin and doing much better!
14w6d: first pair of pants are getting really tight. time to wash some maternity clothes!
14w0d: first MAJOR sugar crash of my life. after 10 units of insulin at bedtime, I am supposed to lie inactive for 8 hours. Instead, I was up ALLLLLLL night with a sick Eva. at 3am, my sugar crashed violently. I took the reading and it was 58. I treated it the way they told me to the other day and ate chocolate. my hands were so shaky that I could barely open the wrapper. then I spent the entire day ping ponging with my sugars going too high and then too low. felt disgusting all day. nurse said i no longer get to treat with chocolate....wahhhhhh.
14w1d: big excitement in the Shire household=after 6 months of torturous potty training, Eva made it to five dry days in a row, which means she has earned herself a bike!
14w2d: spent the day with family at my brother in law's engagement party. was told there would be tons for me to eat and not to pack anything for myself. WRONG! lesson learned that I need to ALWAYS bring something for myself when we are eating out.
14w3d: Father's Day and second major sugar crash. my poor husband had a crap father's day because I woke up at 62 and puked twice before 9am, then had a raging headache and he sent me to bed until I evened out, which was around 3pm.
14w4d: dropped to 8 units of insulin and doing much better!
14w6d: first pair of pants are getting really tight. time to wash some maternity clothes!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
13 Weeks
13 weeks.
I should be theoretically breathing a sigh of relief at this point because I have made it to the second trimester and out of the danger zone, right? Instead, this has been a challenging week for me.
13w0d-started tracking my sugar levels due to my early onset gestational diabetes. just like it was with eva, it's these damn fasting sugars that are gonna kill me. by dinner, it seems i have a lot more freedom to eat what i'd like (not "whatever i'd like" just more freedom towards that direction) but i have basically zero options on how to bring that fasting level down. i am hating the whole thing because i am pretty confident they will put me on insulin and fast.
13w1d-got my first trimester screening results back. at no increased risk for any chromosomal abnormalities or other such issues. a friend got hers back today too and had the exact opposite results. feeling like a dope for being so concerned about having diabetes. wahhhh jane, wahhhh. grow up.
13w2d-a friend contacts me because she thinks she is having an early miscarriage. she was. horrible having to sit back and be helpless when you know what that experience is like. starting to panic that everything may not be ok with my little one either for no reason other than blind anxiety and the knowledge i have no ultrasounds or dopplers scheduled for over 2 weeks. flying solo.
13w4d-one of my very best friends had her second child today-a beautiful baby girl! 90% of my tears were of joy. 10% were a result of how bad i want that for myself and my family. i also had my GD consultation today and i HATED the nurse. for so many reasons. HATED HER. she scheduled me to come back to meet with her later in the week to show me how to use the insulin. i quickly rescheduled with someone else.
13w5d-6/12/12. i was due to have a baby today. desperately wishing i had an ultrasound scheduled so i could be sure that i have this little one hanging on safely!
I should be theoretically breathing a sigh of relief at this point because I have made it to the second trimester and out of the danger zone, right? Instead, this has been a challenging week for me.
13w0d-started tracking my sugar levels due to my early onset gestational diabetes. just like it was with eva, it's these damn fasting sugars that are gonna kill me. by dinner, it seems i have a lot more freedom to eat what i'd like (not "whatever i'd like" just more freedom towards that direction) but i have basically zero options on how to bring that fasting level down. i am hating the whole thing because i am pretty confident they will put me on insulin and fast.
13w1d-got my first trimester screening results back. at no increased risk for any chromosomal abnormalities or other such issues. a friend got hers back today too and had the exact opposite results. feeling like a dope for being so concerned about having diabetes. wahhhh jane, wahhhh. grow up.
13w2d-a friend contacts me because she thinks she is having an early miscarriage. she was. horrible having to sit back and be helpless when you know what that experience is like. starting to panic that everything may not be ok with my little one either for no reason other than blind anxiety and the knowledge i have no ultrasounds or dopplers scheduled for over 2 weeks. flying solo.
13w4d-one of my very best friends had her second child today-a beautiful baby girl! 90% of my tears were of joy. 10% were a result of how bad i want that for myself and my family. i also had my GD consultation today and i HATED the nurse. for so many reasons. HATED HER. she scheduled me to come back to meet with her later in the week to show me how to use the insulin. i quickly rescheduled with someone else.
13w5d-6/12/12. i was due to have a baby today. desperately wishing i had an ultrasound scheduled so i could be sure that i have this little one hanging on safely!
Friday, June 8, 2012
a course in anxiety: week by week
3w5d: positive pregnancy result via blood test at specialist's office
4w5d: first ultrasound showing little gray gestational sac and yolk sac
5w5d: ultrasound showing a week's growth in a week's time. my dr who is also "the fetus whisperer" informs me that he can tell the tiny heartbeat just flicked on about two days ago!
6w5d: ultrasound #3 measured a few days shy of a week's growth and here is where jane starts to go a bit looney tooney
7w1d: ultrasound #4 at my request because i am having panic attacks around the clock. baby measured well. heart rate was good. dr told me he will give me as many ultrasounds as i feel i need to keep my sanity. cried in his office and later over the phone to the nurse because i am a basket case.
8w0d: ultrasound. baby measured 8w1d. having anxiety attacks around the clock as we approach the mid-week point where i lost both other babies. arm and leg buds present=our little gummy bear. I swear I feel the baby start to move at this time.
8w5d: ultrasound. baby measured 9w0d. first sigh of relief that i made it to 9 weeks because neither of the last two babies did.
9w5d: ultrasound. baby measured 10w1d. strong heartbeat. beginning to look like a little baby and not so much like a gummy bear! was told to call my regular OB to start the transition process, which totally freaked me out. DEFINITELY feeling the baby now!
10w5d: ultrasound. baby measured 11w2d. good blood flow and strong and steady hearbeat. Eva randomly asked me if there was a baby in my belly. we were not planning to tell her yet.
11w0d: OB appointment with regular OB. blood work and urine given and went over all the ridiculous bullshit i have gone over 4 times now. oh, you mean i can't drink? that hasn't changed since i was hear in november? oh wow..shocker.
11w5d: call from OB nurse. something "alarming" in my lab work from last week=jane flipping the hell out. turned out just to be that i have a UTI. thank the lord.
11w6d: ultrasound. got to play guinea pig to a brand new, high tech machine at the specialists office, which meant 8 people were in the room as a got probed. baby measured 12w2d, heart rate 161bpm. got to see baby in 3D and 4D as well. had hands in fists covering its little face, clearly wanting to surprise us with its good looks! sonographer has a reputation for early gender determination. gave us her prediction!
12w4d: OB appointment and early glucose test. Orange glucose juice wasn't bad at first...then it got disgusting about 4 sips in. YUCKO! weight gain looking good so far (good!). forced a thorough breast exam out of my OB because Carla lost her battle with breast cancer just 2 days before-luckily everything looked good in that department! discussed all the categories that they will consider me "high risk". starting at 16 weeks, I will get cervical length checks because Eva showed up 5 weeks premature. if it starts to shorten, I get bed rest. starting at 18 weeks, I get a hormone shot in my ass every week that my doctor was not shy about the fact that it hurts...alot. I am glad they are acknowledging my risk factors!
12w5d: Glucose results came in and I have gestational diabetes already...AGAIN. i cried off and on all day about this before snapping myself out of it. i will make it work.
12w6d: first trimester screening and graduation from specialists office. screening went well. waiting on bloodwork results still. early gender prediction confirmed. won't go to the bank on it just yet! scheduled my c-section: 12/6/12!
13w0d: hello, second trimester! it's fantastic to see you again! :)
4w5d: first ultrasound showing little gray gestational sac and yolk sac
5w5d: ultrasound showing a week's growth in a week's time. my dr who is also "the fetus whisperer" informs me that he can tell the tiny heartbeat just flicked on about two days ago!
6w5d: ultrasound #3 measured a few days shy of a week's growth and here is where jane starts to go a bit looney tooney
7w1d: ultrasound #4 at my request because i am having panic attacks around the clock. baby measured well. heart rate was good. dr told me he will give me as many ultrasounds as i feel i need to keep my sanity. cried in his office and later over the phone to the nurse because i am a basket case.
8w0d: ultrasound. baby measured 8w1d. having anxiety attacks around the clock as we approach the mid-week point where i lost both other babies. arm and leg buds present=our little gummy bear. I swear I feel the baby start to move at this time.
8w5d: ultrasound. baby measured 9w0d. first sigh of relief that i made it to 9 weeks because neither of the last two babies did.
9w5d: ultrasound. baby measured 10w1d. strong heartbeat. beginning to look like a little baby and not so much like a gummy bear! was told to call my regular OB to start the transition process, which totally freaked me out. DEFINITELY feeling the baby now!
10w5d: ultrasound. baby measured 11w2d. good blood flow and strong and steady hearbeat. Eva randomly asked me if there was a baby in my belly. we were not planning to tell her yet.
11w0d: OB appointment with regular OB. blood work and urine given and went over all the ridiculous bullshit i have gone over 4 times now. oh, you mean i can't drink? that hasn't changed since i was hear in november? oh wow..shocker.
11w5d: call from OB nurse. something "alarming" in my lab work from last week=jane flipping the hell out. turned out just to be that i have a UTI. thank the lord.
11w6d: ultrasound. got to play guinea pig to a brand new, high tech machine at the specialists office, which meant 8 people were in the room as a got probed. baby measured 12w2d, heart rate 161bpm. got to see baby in 3D and 4D as well. had hands in fists covering its little face, clearly wanting to surprise us with its good looks! sonographer has a reputation for early gender determination. gave us her prediction!
12w4d: OB appointment and early glucose test. Orange glucose juice wasn't bad at first...then it got disgusting about 4 sips in. YUCKO! weight gain looking good so far (good!). forced a thorough breast exam out of my OB because Carla lost her battle with breast cancer just 2 days before-luckily everything looked good in that department! discussed all the categories that they will consider me "high risk". starting at 16 weeks, I will get cervical length checks because Eva showed up 5 weeks premature. if it starts to shorten, I get bed rest. starting at 18 weeks, I get a hormone shot in my ass every week that my doctor was not shy about the fact that it hurts...alot. I am glad they are acknowledging my risk factors!
12w5d: Glucose results came in and I have gestational diabetes already...AGAIN. i cried off and on all day about this before snapping myself out of it. i will make it work.
12w6d: first trimester screening and graduation from specialists office. screening went well. waiting on bloodwork results still. early gender prediction confirmed. won't go to the bank on it just yet! scheduled my c-section: 12/6/12!
13w0d: hello, second trimester! it's fantastic to see you again! :)
April 2, 2012
Cross your fingers.
Cross your toes.
Cross your arms.
Cross your legs.
Cross your nuts.
Cross your "t"s...
You get the idea.
We are officially back in the danger zone with a positive pregnancy test.
December 13th is the target.
Cross your toes.
Cross your arms.
Cross your legs.
Cross your nuts.
Cross your "t"s...
You get the idea.
We are officially back in the danger zone with a positive pregnancy test.
December 13th is the target.
Friday, March 2, 2012
The Last Thing I Want is a Cheerleader
I know you may not get that.
You don't have to "get" that. This isn't about YOU.
All you have to do is understand that you are not ME and that I know ME better than you know me.
I am not even close to lying or looking for attention.
I DO NOT WANT OR NEED A CHEERLEADER!
Keep your pom poms, spirit fingers and cartwheels the hell away from me at all times.
We found the courage to try this month. We went for it. The whole process what a hot mess. If I had checked into my doctor's office every time I was there in February you would have thought I was joking. Sometimes three times a week, other times more. I got stuck with needles four times in one week. I had 5 transvaginal ultrasounds. We tracked my ovulation: first thinking it had happened so early that we missed it, but then realizing it wasn't even close to happening and end up occurring oddly late. I took 100mgs of progesterone in a vaginal suppository (yes it's a mess), that in just 18 hours had me acting like such an emotional disaster area that I had hot tears running down my face while my 2.5 year old rubbed my back out of concern in reaction to someone I barely know's facebook status. (I seriously wish I were joking about that). Then I got bloodwork back and 100mgs was not enough so I got to double it. 200mgs of progesterone is more than any single body can handle, I am convinced of it. My side effects of 200mgs of progesterone included, but are not limited to: bloating, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, insomnia (yes both at the same time!), breast tenderness, nipple sensitivity, acne, depression, violent fits of rage, intense moments of hunger, and food aversion (yes at the same time). In short, I felt really fucking pregnant.
After 2 weeks on 200 mgs of progesterone, I went for my blood test. Texted my husband before I went in and said, "just to have it on the record, I think I am pregnant".
I am not.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!
So I get to stop the progesterone for a moment, let my period arrive and call them on cycle day 1 to do the entire thing all the fuck over again.
Jane, you sound a little pissed off...
Fuck yes I am fucking pissed the fuck off. Fuck yes I am.
What tops it for me is how many people I feel I have disappointed by not being pregnant this month. Husband, daughter, doctors, nurses, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends....
You may read that and think, "jane, don't be ridiculous...". I read that reaction as judgement and you are not me. You have not walked this floor for what is now a full calendar year. You don't know how it feels to have all your hopes and dreams on the line every month and know that is all up to your stupid betraying body to make it happen. It's like staring down the barrel of a gun and sometimes the stress of it makes me wonder if it wouldn't just be a release if the gun just fired (that is not a suicide note, it's a metaphor). To do this every month while hopped up on hormones is cruel punishment to my daughter and my husband but I have to say, it is also a wicked punishment to me. I'm the one on the drugs and yet I am supposed to light up at a "whoopsie" pregnancy announcement on facebook and carry on with all our normal routines like I am not a fucking basketcase.
You don't have to "get" that. This isn't about YOU.
All you have to do is understand that you are not ME and that I know ME better than you know me.
I am not even close to lying or looking for attention.
I DO NOT WANT OR NEED A CHEERLEADER!
Keep your pom poms, spirit fingers and cartwheels the hell away from me at all times.
We found the courage to try this month. We went for it. The whole process what a hot mess. If I had checked into my doctor's office every time I was there in February you would have thought I was joking. Sometimes three times a week, other times more. I got stuck with needles four times in one week. I had 5 transvaginal ultrasounds. We tracked my ovulation: first thinking it had happened so early that we missed it, but then realizing it wasn't even close to happening and end up occurring oddly late. I took 100mgs of progesterone in a vaginal suppository (yes it's a mess), that in just 18 hours had me acting like such an emotional disaster area that I had hot tears running down my face while my 2.5 year old rubbed my back out of concern in reaction to someone I barely know's facebook status. (I seriously wish I were joking about that). Then I got bloodwork back and 100mgs was not enough so I got to double it. 200mgs of progesterone is more than any single body can handle, I am convinced of it. My side effects of 200mgs of progesterone included, but are not limited to: bloating, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, insomnia (yes both at the same time!), breast tenderness, nipple sensitivity, acne, depression, violent fits of rage, intense moments of hunger, and food aversion (yes at the same time). In short, I felt really fucking pregnant.
After 2 weeks on 200 mgs of progesterone, I went for my blood test. Texted my husband before I went in and said, "just to have it on the record, I think I am pregnant".
I am not.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!
So I get to stop the progesterone for a moment, let my period arrive and call them on cycle day 1 to do the entire thing all the fuck over again.
Jane, you sound a little pissed off...
Fuck yes I am fucking pissed the fuck off. Fuck yes I am.
What tops it for me is how many people I feel I have disappointed by not being pregnant this month. Husband, daughter, doctors, nurses, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends....
You may read that and think, "jane, don't be ridiculous...". I read that reaction as judgement and you are not me. You have not walked this floor for what is now a full calendar year. You don't know how it feels to have all your hopes and dreams on the line every month and know that is all up to your stupid betraying body to make it happen. It's like staring down the barrel of a gun and sometimes the stress of it makes me wonder if it wouldn't just be a release if the gun just fired (that is not a suicide note, it's a metaphor). To do this every month while hopped up on hormones is cruel punishment to my daughter and my husband but I have to say, it is also a wicked punishment to me. I'm the one on the drugs and yet I am supposed to light up at a "whoopsie" pregnancy announcement on facebook and carry on with all our normal routines like I am not a fucking basketcase.
When you try to tell me that you feel confident in this process for me; that you just know I will get pregnant and it will stick and my family will grow if I just stay positive, it makes me want to strangle you violently. I know you are trying to be helpful. I know you want me to feel the excitement of procreation and hopeful possibility but the reality of my situation is that it has all be robbed of me. I will not find out I am pregnant and do a dance of joy. As soon as that test reads positive, I am in the danger zone. When you tell me things will be fine if I am positive about it and try not to worry, I get pulled into a defensive stance and makes me want to argue with you because you are absolutely not allowed to tell me how I should feel for one split second of my life. I have real fears because my nightmares were realized twice in a 9 months span of time. I am worried. I want to be worried. Let me be fucking worried and be a friend and worry with me. Don't try to make me feel anything other than what I do. Please.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Back It Up
November 2011: 2nd miscarriage on the books and I realized how much I love my OB because she was not willing to break my heart in order to follow protocol, which requires three miscarriages before a referral to a specialist. She referred me to the leading fertility/reproductive specialist in our region. He has fantastic results and I have three friends that used him to become pregnant with great results. I was thrilled that we go this referral but also very nervous. My OB said, "if he can't get you to your baby, no one can". While that should have given me a boost of confidence, all it did was freak me out in a really glass-half-empty sort of way. We weren't allowed to schedule an appointment until I got my period for the first time post-miscarriage so we sat around and waited for Aunt Flo...
December 2011: We will call this "Insurance Bill" month. We spent this entire month under a microscope. We met with the specialist and he reviewed our information. He sat back and asked me what else I thought he needed to know that the forms didn't cover and I loved that. I had theories and I wanted him to hear them out and he did. He told me off the bat what the most likely causes were and what some far-fetched possibilities were as well. When he reviewed one of those possibilities, I asked "So in order to know if it's that, I would have to lose a third baby?". He put his pen down and looked me square in the eye and said, "Unless it is a chromosomal issue, we will not let you lose another child". I sobbed an ugly sob right there across the desk from him. And then the testing began. I gave 23 vials of blood in one sitting on one day, 5 on another, then 3, then 1, then 1, then 1, then 1....and so on. They tested for hormone levels, the way my blood clots, sugar regulation, insulin levels, bacteria, infection and a host of a thousand other things. I had ultrasounds to see the structure of my uterus and to check for ovulation. I had a test where they shot water up my wahoo with a camera tube to watch it flow through my insides to make sure there were no blockages. I had more ultrasounds to watch how I looked DURING and AFTER ovulation. Then they tried to poke a catheter into my uterus to draw a sample of some uterine fluids. That was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. I have a tilted uterus, which means that when you poke at it, it retreats (very afraid of confrontation, my uterus is!). They stabbed me with this thing about 60 times, then tried it with a sharper object 30 more times and then went back to the original one 40 more times before watching the tears run down my face and they gave up. Yes, my husband did some tests of his own but this is not HIS blog. He can start one if he'd like to share! And then the results rolled in...
January 2012: I have really wonky progesterone levels, MTHFR (which looks like motherfucker to me so that's what I call it) and Factor IV Leiden. My progesterone starts normal, rises and then suddenly drops, which is the exact opposite of what you want it to do. MTHFR and Factor IV Leiden both affect how blood clots and possibly creates clots between the placenta and uterine wall, which inhibits growth and causes loss. They also cause problems absorbing folic acid, which can cause poor CNS development which can cause loss. All of this is not good news for a growing embryo. They can't explain how I was able to have Eva without any assistance, which is why I snuggle her a lot closer these days!
February 2012: So now what? I get to take prescription strength folic acid (1200mgs a day), a baby aspirin daily for the blood clotting and when we muster the courage to try again and do conceive, we get to see what Jane is like on hormones!
So that's the long and short of it. And now we work on the courage to try again part...
December 2011: We will call this "Insurance Bill" month. We spent this entire month under a microscope. We met with the specialist and he reviewed our information. He sat back and asked me what else I thought he needed to know that the forms didn't cover and I loved that. I had theories and I wanted him to hear them out and he did. He told me off the bat what the most likely causes were and what some far-fetched possibilities were as well. When he reviewed one of those possibilities, I asked "So in order to know if it's that, I would have to lose a third baby?". He put his pen down and looked me square in the eye and said, "Unless it is a chromosomal issue, we will not let you lose another child". I sobbed an ugly sob right there across the desk from him. And then the testing began. I gave 23 vials of blood in one sitting on one day, 5 on another, then 3, then 1, then 1, then 1, then 1....and so on. They tested for hormone levels, the way my blood clots, sugar regulation, insulin levels, bacteria, infection and a host of a thousand other things. I had ultrasounds to see the structure of my uterus and to check for ovulation. I had a test where they shot water up my wahoo with a camera tube to watch it flow through my insides to make sure there were no blockages. I had more ultrasounds to watch how I looked DURING and AFTER ovulation. Then they tried to poke a catheter into my uterus to draw a sample of some uterine fluids. That was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. I have a tilted uterus, which means that when you poke at it, it retreats (very afraid of confrontation, my uterus is!). They stabbed me with this thing about 60 times, then tried it with a sharper object 30 more times and then went back to the original one 40 more times before watching the tears run down my face and they gave up. Yes, my husband did some tests of his own but this is not HIS blog. He can start one if he'd like to share! And then the results rolled in...
January 2012: I have really wonky progesterone levels, MTHFR (which looks like motherfucker to me so that's what I call it) and Factor IV Leiden. My progesterone starts normal, rises and then suddenly drops, which is the exact opposite of what you want it to do. MTHFR and Factor IV Leiden both affect how blood clots and possibly creates clots between the placenta and uterine wall, which inhibits growth and causes loss. They also cause problems absorbing folic acid, which can cause poor CNS development which can cause loss. All of this is not good news for a growing embryo. They can't explain how I was able to have Eva without any assistance, which is why I snuggle her a lot closer these days!
February 2012: So now what? I get to take prescription strength folic acid (1200mgs a day), a baby aspirin daily for the blood clotting and when we muster the courage to try again and do conceive, we get to see what Jane is like on hormones!
So that's the long and short of it. And now we work on the courage to try again part...
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