The only test I ever failed...and BOY did I fail it big time!

The low PAP-A protein thing required monitoring from Maternal/Fetal Medicine at the hospital. Basically that meant that I got an ultrasound every month of my pregnancy to check growth and fluid levels and all that jazz. The doctors and technicians at that facility are amazing! There were times I did actual medical research on what I had and would then be a research bitch and quiz my specialist doctor and she ALWAYS was up to date on what research was currently saying about that darn PAP-A protein. I could not be more impressed than I was with them. They always said that she was growing right on track and doing all the little tasks they wanted to watch her do. Plus, I got pictures of our little girl every month of her pre-life! It was great!

It was before a regular visit with my regular OB/GYN, 28 weeks along that they made me drink that nasty red fruit punch concoction to test my sugar levels.  Two days later, they called and said I failed it and had to go to the lab to get the 3-hour glucose test to see if I actually HAD gestational diabetes or if it was just a bad sugar day all around.

I put it off. I waited a week to go to the lab because I simply KNEW it wasn't a fluke. I knew I had GD and I wanted one more week of eating pizza and brownies. Isn't that an awful confession? I know, I know...but I did go and shock of all shocks, I failed it. Like...really, really failed it.

So I have to make an appointment with (TADA!) Maternal/Fetal Medicine's GD department. When I meet my GD nurse, I am instantly in love with her. She is sarcastic and relaxed and over time proved to be incredibly supportive. Give it up again for M/F Med! She tells me that I don't "look" like I'd have GD. I only gained 20 pounds and looked, as she said, "well-rounded". Then she showed me my test results and her exact words were, "if you're gonna fail it, you may as well bomb the shit out of it, huh?". (LOVED her!). And that I did. I failed so bad there was concern I was an actual diabetic all along, but luckily I'm not. She showed me how to use the little tester sticks and how often and the reporting procedure. She gave me a lesson in the way we're all supposed to eat and how I now NEEDED to eat. I left that appointment feeling a sense of ease, that I could handle this. I could do anything for 10 weeks...no problem. I got this...

Only, I didn't have it. I became obsessed with food. I remember going to a family gathering at Matt's mother's house and nearly prosecuting him about what there was going to be to eat. When he said, "They're going to barbeque. There will be salads and sides and dessert.", I nearly throttled him. My response through tears was, "What kind of barbeque? Will they put BBQ sauce on it? Because I can't have BBQ sauce, it has too much sugar in it. Will they put dressing on the salad already because I can't have dressing? And do you mean lettuce based salads or pasta/potato salad because I can't have those. And what sides? Corn? I can't have corn. Potatoes? I can't have potatoes. Watermelon? They told me to lie and not report my sugar reading if I have watermelon because I am banned from being in the same room with it that's how much sugar it has. I can't have watermelon. And desserts? Did you really include desserts in that list?!? I am in my 3rd trimester. I should get to gorge myself on desserts, but I can't. So either I will have to leave early or not go altogether....p.s. you're an asshole, fyi!"

Gestational Diabetes was a bitch. I lost 9 pounds in 5 weeks WHILE PREGNANT! I couldn't eat anything. I remember my sister once texting me a picture of her eating a fancy Friendly's sundae and my response was a picture of my lunch=cheese cubes and plain unsalted almonds. I'm not even kidding.

I was ravenous constantly. Half because I couldn't really eat what I was craving and half because having GD makes you think about what you're eating constantly and because none of it is even sort of satisfying it makes you think about all the things you can't eat constantly. Which keeps you in a state of hunger nonstop. Not to mention you are 8 months pregnant....

I was mostly able to control my sugar levels through diet, except my fasting sugar. Which is the reading you take as you roll out of bed. Nothing in your system at all. There is almost nothing you can do about that reading to make it lower except maybe dream about excessive exercise and consume fiber through an IV drip in your sleep. So I had to take a pill in my 33rd week. I took it once a day and it did make a difference. I didn't mean I could eat anything I wanted. It just meant I could eat what I ate two weeks before.  That's the worst part of GD; every week (well, everyDAY really) you become less and less tolerant of sugar because your baby is growing and sucking the insulin out of you more rapidly. So what worked for you Monday, you can't even look at by Friday.

Here is a sample of my day at 34 weeks pregnant in July with Gestational Diabetes:
8:30am: wake up feeling like my bladder may burst I have to pee so bad even though I just woke up to pee at 6:30. wash my hands. take my sugar. curse myself and Matt for doing this to me because my sugar was too high. wonder if there was sugar on my hands from sweating during sleep and that's why it was high? make a note to ask my nurse about that. drink water. pee again.
9:00am: have breakfast=same thing as everyday this week=scrambled eggs with cheese and broccoli. pee.
9:30am: already feel starving, but can't eat anything until 10 because I have to take my sugar an hour after eating. drink water. pee.
10:00am: sugar test. Curse myself and chickens who make eggs and the farmers who must have put sugar on their crop of broccoli bc my reading is higher than it was yesterday with this same meal. drink water. pee.
10:30am: snack of plain yogurt (i HATE yogurt and plain yogurt is vomit in a cup), dream about the ice cream I'm not having. pee.
11:00am: get a text from a friend with an invitation to lunch at cafe gelato. pull up the online menu and sob because there's nothing I can eat there so I have to isolate myself from this outing....AGAIN. pee.
11:30am: have lunch of cheese cubes, plain unsalted almonds, and a salad of PLAIN grilled chicken and baby spinach...that's it. drink water. pee.
12:00pm: take brady for a walk for exercise and by that I really mean, take Brady for a waddle. drink water. pee.
12:30pm: take my sugar and do a dance because it is in the normal range! pee.
1:30pm: snack of apples smeared in peanut butter. drink water. pee.
2:00pm: nap. pee. nap. pee.
3:30pm: snack on a fiber bar. poop.
3:45pm: appointment at Maternal/Fetal Medicine for GD.
4:30pm: appointment at Maternal/Fetal Medicine for PAP-A. drink water. pee.
5:00pm: pee test at appointment for regular OB/GYN.
5:30pm: take brady for a walk. drink water. pee.
6:00pm: eat dinner of cheese cubes, plain unsalted almonds, and a salad of PLAIN grilled chicken and baby spinach because it worked at lunch time so well. drink water. pee.
7:00pm: take sugar and ugly cry on the kitchen floor because it is somehow WAY too high even though I just had the same thing at lunch with great results. consider that maybe my hand soap has a lot of sugar in it and some is left on my hand and that is why my sugar reading was bad. drink water. pee.
8:00pm: snack on plain almonds. drink water. pee
8:30pm: shower. drink water. pee. take GD pill. pee again.
9:00pm: go to bed completely defeated...again...