Luck is a tricky thing

Today, I share this photo for the first time through tears...

The universe gave me a 30th birthday present so precious I couldn't possibly think myself worthy of it.  It gave me a positive home pregnancy test.

It took us 3 months to conceive Eva. Round 2, it took us one month, one try. Bingo!

I KNEW it this time well before I saw a plus sign. Round 2, you know what you're looking for in a way you don't have reason to know the first time around. I was exhausted. So exhausted it hurt to sit up. And I was nauseous, but maybe I was just getting sick? I knew for sure one night when I was getting into the shower. I caught a glimpse of of my boobs, specifically my nipples. If you've been pregnant you know what I am talking about before I even have to say it = alien nipples. 

I saw them and lost my breath. Holy shit I'm pregnant. 

I took 4 tests before I got the result I knew was correct. I learned my lesson from the whole "faint line" thing with Eva's conception and used the digital models this time, which resulted in a very clear, bold-printed "PREGNANT"!

Eva was napping at the time and I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep myself from screaming out in joy and risk waking her. I didn't hear the end of it when I got pregnant with Eva and didn't tell my mom right away, but instead waited for Christmas. So I called my mother and let her be the first to know. (She knew before Matt, for the record!) When I heard Eva's sweet voice through the monitor, telling me she was awake by calling my name, I bounded in with an ear to ear grin and said, "Well hello, big sister!"

I wanted to share this special news with Matt in a way I didn't have the grace to do the first time around. Instead of screaming at him from the bathroom and waving a pee stick in his face, I took Eva shopping to buy a "Big Sister" t-shirt. I viewed this as the first of many important events in preparing her for the role of a lifetime. 

Eva was wearing the shirt when Matt got home from work. It took him like 20 minutes to notice and even then it's only because I pointed it out. His reaction, "No SHIT!? For real?" and then he did a little Chandler Bing type dance in celebration of his effective swimmers!  We were going to have a baby. 

We didn't even worry about selling our house in that moment. It never even crossed my mind. I thought about that siren that had been going off in my mind like a war due to my back problems, "possible fertility issues". I had the arrogance to think, "fertility issues, my ass!"

I was due to have a baby November 11, 2011...11/11/11. We took it as a sign of luck. 

If I knew then what I know now I could have been prepared that "luck" is a tricky thing...